Rant

Ya know, this really fucking sucks. Marilia was supposed to be here almost an hour ago, and here I am, sitting alone. Waiting. Sometimes I really hate people.

Day one of four is almost over. Three to go, and im sure those three will suck just as bad.

Theres this intense lonliness here, alone. and Im having a really hard time dealing with it. Going to bed alone, waking up alone...its just not fun. I havnt felt this...sad...for weeks now.

So incredibly lonely, so...depressed. theres this constant feeling behind my eyes, threatening to break out. But I know. I KNOW, that if I start crying, I wont stop. It will just get worse.

And some things really make it worse.

Like, strang things. For some reason the smell of dinner made me really sad. Also, if I watch something on the computer on full screen mode, the thought of going to bed in an empty house, and thinking about the next day. Silly things, really.

Im also overwhelmed with the thought of going home. Now, dont get me wrong, im THRILLED to be leaving here. But on the flip side, when I get home, I will have no money, no car. Im going to have to ride a bike to work while I save up for a car.

And to top it all off, I only get to live at home for 2 months. Then, my mum says, I have to get my own place. 2 months is definately not enough time to save up for a place, and save up for a car!!! And once I get my own place, I will really REALLY need that car, since I most likely wont be in biking distance from work anymore.

plus side to biking? i'll lose the weight im so desperate to lose.