2 days to go

This is hard to write. Its now come to a place where it is hard to think, hard to feel, hard to live.

There is so much Im dying to say, so much Im dying to get off my chest, to write down. But when I start thinking about it, trying to organize my thoughts, I am just so overwhelmed, I have to stop.

I have to push my emotions aside with TV, hours of it. Yesterday I sat for 10 hours straight in front of the computer. 10 hours! But if I look away from the screen, everything comes flooding back.

Im stuck in my head. It has come back, with a vengenance. It which prevents me from living, causing me to merely survive. It which tells me not to shower, to eat, to move.

The well is so long, deep and dark.

And I am really no good with ladders.