Last Day

So it´s my Last Day in Germany. I cant believe its finally here. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, seriously...

This will be short, a longer blog will follow once my jetlag has dissapated, maybe over the weekend.

Basically, Goodbye Duetscland. It was fun while it lasted. HAHA. I will miss your wonderful beer and even better icecream, as well as your lax drinking laws. But, maybe one day we will meet again. until then? TSCHÜS!

Lonely day

Its a lonely day today. Sundays are lonely days. But on the brightside, I have only 4 official work days left until home since this coming weekend im going to Marion´s. So I will work until Thursday, asnd Friday I leave. Sunday night when I come back, I will do all my laundry, and then Monday, I will pack. The new girl comes Tuesday, and then I leave early early Wednesday morning. By Wednesday night, I will be with my family again. Thank god.

Anyway, on a different note, people are assholes. How hard is it, really, to leave a note or something if you go out? I came upstairs, and everyone is gone. No car, nothing. They could have called downstairs to say they were leaving! Now I have no clue where they went!

I was thinking today, that I will start doing something here. Writing letters to people and things (depression, eating disorders, art) that have had a major impact on my life. I feel like I have SO MANY things to say, but I never get the chance. The people will probably never read them, so it will give me the opportunity to really say the truth. The first letter will follow later tonight.
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This weekend im going to take the train to visit Jo´s sister and her family. I think it will a nice way to break up the time until I leave, and damn im glad to be getting away from here!!!! Plus, I havnt seen them in...almost 12 years? since my dad´s wedding, and that was only for a few hours! So this will be a great last official weekend here in Germany, since next weekend I will be packing and getting ready to go HOME!!! ( Oh, that sounds so, SO nice!!!) So I just have to make it through the rest of today, and tomorrow morning, then im really home free, because when I am back here on Monday, Laura is coming (HURRAY! a native English speaking friend), and its my last week! ( The Final Countdown now begins to play in my head, haha)

Its all Mind over Matter now. BE WHERE YOUR FEET ARE! I will make it through this, because I Am Strong. (a little self talk, there)

tschüs. be well.

This is awful. I really feel like I wont make it. Its like there is this giant, empty hole in me, thats eating me up. I hate it!! Im so SICK of crying!!!!

I just want to go home. Please...please..

I dont know who Im asking here. But...oh, I dont know.

Sidebar

Oh, and can we talk about how freakin´wonderful Facebook, GMail, and Blogs are, please?

I think I may need a 12 step program, good god.

Feeling okay today!

So I am feeling "okay" today. And these days, "okay" is GRRRREAT! So, I thought I would take the time to do a real post, instead of a gripy complaining one!

I have 16 days left in Germany. things are winding down now, to the last few "lasts". This weekend is my "last" weekend officially, since the next one I will be packing. This coming Sunday will be my "last" Sunday phone call with my Dad, and on Wednesday, my second to "last" one with my mom. Its all very, very, VERY exciting. (catch just how exciting? :))

Saw some cute things in the shop today to bring home for gifts! Cant wait to buy them! But I should wait, since I dont know how much space I have in my bags yet.

I officially know how I am getting home from JFK!! Lucky Bus! $15, leaves every hour, perfect, prefect. Plus, you are allowed 2 bags and a carry on, which is exactly what I have!!! Go Lucky Bus, woohoo!!

I am down to 94 kgs now. Still VERY heavy, and overweight, but considering im not actually dieting, only being consious of what I put in my body, the weight seems to be flying off. But when I get home, and am not under so much stress, I am certain it will decide it would rather stay!!! In which case, I will have to diet. Because I am starting to like this "new" me!!! No more hiding in baggy clothes!! I do look very silly though, since all my clothes are just a little too big. Just more incentive, though. Oh how awesome it would be to get back to "pre depression eating disorder" weight!!

So things are slowly starting to fall into place. Its kinda nice, after such a hard weekend (think lots and LOTS of desperate sobbing), to be feeling okay now. As long as I stay busy, I know it will be alright.

I just need to, as my mom always tells me, "Be where my feet are".

Peace and Love guys. (and fabulous Mexican food for dinner)

It occurs to me every so often, that I am in Europe.