So, 18 days to go. Not like im counting or anything. :)

Today has been good, in relative terms. Yesterday was awful, I cried most of the day. But today, iv been rationalizing things out in my head, and that seems to help.

One of the hardest parts is not feeling wanted. Im never sure if its okay for me to stay in the living room, or sit outside wit hthe family, or if I should just go away. Its akward, and upsetting. Also, Stephanie snapped at me the other day for getting up when Romy was crying. She said "Im her mother, and imhere", b ut I just dont want her to think im lazy, and ignoring the baby!! So I always wonder, should I leave her...or not? I feel like an imposter! Oh, how I cant wait to be home with my own family, free to be myself, and not worry about anything!!!

I lost another 2 kilos. ( which, for you non kilo people, is about 4 pounds.) Im starting to get a bit concerned, though. I really do eat. (mostly shit, though) But I think a large part of my weight loss is stress related. I also havnt been sleeping well, waking up in the night, the usual. Just another reason I cant wait to get home.

Licia isnt going to be able to get me from JFK, so I will have to fly to Boston, or take the Greyhound bus. Just a little more stress, because I dont have enough, clearly.

I am SO craving a double cheeseburger. Thats the first thing I will eat, when I land in JFK, because for some reason, they dont have them in McDonalds here! I know the weight I lost, I will quickly gain back!